Reality Surge

Volatile the circumstance on this window sill,
Yet the urge to tamper with it,
To see what is on the other side,
Breathe in the air.

A face appears at the window.

As I look into her eyes,
The exchange of our expressions,
Like telepathy,
She beckons to me.

The passion is so divine.

Her hand gestures like a dove,
The words mouthed filled with sweet returns,
Yet with all its clearness,
There is such a veil of mystery.

The attraction undeniable.

The hot breath from her lips,
Placing her hand on the glass,
It seems to melt it away,
For a moment.

Our hands touched.

She pulls away beckoning me to come,
I feel drawn towards the beyond,
Into the shadows that lies behind her,
With her.

I turn the lock,
As the cold wind blows,
Cutting my eyes as I try to look forward,
A hand reaches out before me.

I feel no trust.

Closing the window,
Turning my back,
She rushes to the window,
I reach down for the brick.

Some windows were never meant to be open.
I pull my hand back slowly,
She screams at what I am about to do,
I know what was needed,
I let myself go.

Some windows were meant to be broken through.

The lines were written between the latitude,
Shrinking into the darkness,
Not wanting me to see,
Revealed for what she is.

For only at the edge of reality can I recover my sanity.
-Reality Surge

Where does a choice begin and a decision occur? All the while, in my life, the choices I’ve been presented with were spread far and wide. The very one’s placed in front of my face seemed like the most obvious choices, yet in the end, I chose something else, something that I felt was right.

Sometimes, when someone is given choices, many people try to influence their decision, to the point, it can be hard to think. I’ve seen all my friends stuck in similar positions as me, and the choices they make are often heavily influenced by what people think they should do, rather than what they feel they want to do. For the decision to be made, I’ve had time to think, to decide, I didn’t rush, but most of my friends never took the time. Some do regret their decisions, and bear grudges against those who influenced them, but in the end, it’s not those people’s fault, it’s theirs for making it. Unless they were forced, the choice they made was theirs.

My older sister wanted to do theatre studies, she was well suited for it, an arts student in junior college who was in the debates team, represented Singapore overseas and did drama at the same time for the ACJC drama company. She had just gotten her results, and applications for universities were to be made. My parents did not condone what she wanted to do, rather they tried through active persuasion and long debating to convince her that she would be better off going to study hotel management in Switzerland. Fast forward six years later, she got a degree from one of the top hotel management schools in the world and came back to Singapore to work for my parents. Being the eldest, I guess she felt obligated, and influenced to do the degree which ultimately brought her back to the family business. I guess she is fine with the job she currently has, and she has the drive, though she gave up her passion for acting to do what was considered the responsible choice, she made her decision.

As for me, I was at that path, between the responsible choice which was my parents believe I should do and the choice of me doing what I wanted. At that point, I did not really know what I wanted, so I took the responsible choice. Fast forward two and three quarter years later, in national service which was a break from the responsible choice, I found that it wasn’t what I wanted. I was fine with it, but it was not what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted something more.

The responsible choice I had made was doing a bachelor degree in business. It was a general degree, which would allow me to apply for many different office jobs, but it did not specialize in anything either than managing a business or people. What I wanted was more than that, I know business is practical, but what I wanted was something that involved the body. The decision I had made, was a degree in sports and nutrition. It was something that fit in to what I have enjoyed so much in my life, my interests. The love of sports, fitness and good nutrition. My love for keeping fit and cooking culminated with my desire and drive to learn new methods of exercise, the reasons and science behind it, the techniques that suited a person and nutrition that was best to reach a certain goal. It was something I knew I wanted to do for my life. Thus, the decision was made.

The time I spent in the army, had given me the time and chance to reflect on what I want to do with my life. Thus, I decided that what I wanted was feasible, and responsible, so I set about convincing those around me about it. Thus, I influenced the others who were supposed to influence my choice. Now, I await the moment, to move forward and live that choice. A future I look forward to, and must prepare rigorously, perhaps it’ll satisfy all the desires I have in life, and maybe it may not, but the most important thing was it was a decision made by me, after careful thinking.

Now the shadows of my life are stretching behind me, and now facing the start of the bridge, I see much to be climbed, of which I am enthusiastic about, one which I will meet with full vigor. And when I am done crossing that bridge, I look forward to seeing what is there on the other side.

Her hope swirls downwards,
The feeling of draining away,
Wishing for a pill,
To take her pain away.

To escape.


Fallen into the shadows,
A hint of her warmth remains,
Feathers lay upon the floor,
Closing her eyes as if to shut out the world.

A crimson drop falls to the floor.

The shadows begin to fade,
Clinging on to her own,
She wishes not to be seen,
To not be judged.

The world can be cruel.

A streak of warmth strikes her face,
Turning to the person reaching out,
A hand stretched out before her,
Her eyes can’t see past it.

She is unsure.

Borne into a world so cold,
Memories of pain,
Given empty promises,
People’s hidden agendas.

Finding it hard to trust.

From a time long forgot,
A slow sonata of old,
Of unrequited desires,
Of dreams long lost.

He holds her hand.


She feels as though she is falling,
Yet she finds herself rising,
She opens her eyes to the world,
A world of possibilities.