Where we become

Hold your breath and grip on tight,
As we rush pass the fences of light,
The dream we’re living is so bright.

We’re asking for more.

Letting ourselves become so bold,
All those before us will fold,
Our actions are worth more than gold.

Break yourself from the line.

It’s time to open the gate,
Let us reach out towards the final date,
And Jump forward to meet our fate.
-Rising tide

Into a new beginning, where the world seems so different, so new, so invigorating. I find myself taking in the sights and sounds that overwhelm my senses. The energy of youth is amazing, it makes me feel like I’ve just been reborn. I find myself reaching out for so much, looking forward to so much more.

School, has been good, its constantly new problems given to solve followed by group work and presentations. I never really found anything to really challenge and improve myself on a regular basis till now. Till this foundation which tests me for what I am.

Everyday has been a test of one’s ability to think and organize one’s thoughts, and at the same time present oneself in a manner which exudes composure and confidence, in order to captivate the audience in the most effective manner. The need to lead and motivate others comes into play more than ever, the need to become an effective and powerful leader. So much of what I’ve learnt throughout my life comes into play, from my time on stage, to my time debating with some of the smartest people I’ve met in my life to all the books I’ve ever read, the shows I’ve watched, games I’ve played. The actions, reaction and decisions made are a culmination of the very presentations I do everyday.

My interactions with my group members, constantly guiding them to pull out their every potential, it brings out both the friend and teacher in me, something I rarely had before, most of which were experiences I had from guidance in drama and in Thailand where I taught English. The constant change of variables, having to work with new problems everyday, and different team mates each day tested my ability to analyze each member and problem to best formulate solutions to it all, from which I gained more experience on handling and working with people, to improving my thinking and organizing skills on a daily basis.

I find that the most rewarding moments of the day are when the presentation comes, and you see your members give their all and accomplish they never thought they could and my own part where I captivate my audience and teach for that short period, conveying what I understood and learnt, always honing my presentation skills to become even better.

Looking at everyone around me, I feel the want to bring everyone up higher, to rise with me, like a rising tide that would become unstoppable, perhaps even to the point where the best students come from my class, to become the best, to become leaders.

This is what I wrote earlier, it was meant to be a blog post, but I never really posted it, this is part of it:

The voices rise in a deafening sound,
Sensing the despair all around,
I bring my knees to the ground,
Hoping that at the last moment faith can be found.

It’s too late to find it now.

The words that leave my lips are silent,
The sincerity filling every thought,
I take a deep breath in,
As a sense of calmness fills my mind.
- A moment’s thought.

Where for that moment I’d dream, and see a face that I never paid much thought to, appearing in it, and somehow despite the lack of significance in my life, that person seemed to have a great impact in that dream. I wake up confused and wonder why such a thing occurred. Was it a reflection of the past I might have overlooked?

Looking at others, I often see a hint of my past in them, not in that there were involved in my past, but part of their lives were similar to mine, which allowed me to empathize more with them. Looking into their eyes, I can almost feel a connection, but then again, not everyone would allow me to see all of it. One would have to get to know the person better before such a strong connection could occur.

For the first week, I suffered from flu and fever, during each day of school, but I managed to give it my all, because I was motivated to succeed even it meant suffering. I was forcing myself into full focus during every presentation itself, in order to present in the best form. For myself, I did suffer from this forced state of control where I showed no sign of illness for a short period of time and for that moment, felt normal. I lost quite a bit of weight in that one week. My jeans went from a just nice fit on Monday, and then being loose by Friday.

I realize it was reckless for me to do such a thing, but it also tested my motivation and focus at the same time, proving my desire and dedication to succeed. This is what I told myself, “I am not here to fool around; I am here for total victory.” Total victory is doing my very best to achieve the best possible score. This would mean aiming for a perfect GPA, or something close to that. I have a goal, a dream, a desire, a commitment.

Into the second week, my members have become even better, having more confidence and better focus which allowed them to produce even better work than before, which reflects the very energy of youth which can be honed to improve and learn. I envision being able to achieve my goals with them; for without them, I could never reach my goal, they are the ones who are to be credited, and I am also responsible for helping achieve that goal too. Together, we’d all climb the ladder and reach for the heavens.

A smile and a laugh for the day,
A moments past of us standing,
Waiting for each other’s grin,
Basking in the rays of the sun.

Is there something to confess?

We’re jumping across the fence,
Our thoughts hindered by no cage,
But we’re not lost at all,
We’re all on the same page.

Where are we now?

Our dreams are our energy,
Where hopes hold sway,
And our actions come into play,
Come let’s go together.

Tomorrow’s a brand new day.
-Where we become.