Choices

Light a part of my soul,
Sign a piece of the contract,
Letting the cold wind blow through my hair,
Darkness has a haunting masked appeal.

Stepping forward in the calm of silence,
Thirsting for the divine wine,
Hoping for a short reprieve,
Finding myself left with little time.

Walking the fine line of my sanity,
I wonder what is behind the door of my fate,
Searching for a vivid or clear sign,
Slowly driving me out of my mind.
-Sanity’s appeal.

Trapped between my desires and my responsibilities, it’s like the responsible choice over having water or wine when driving. Drawn between the choices, it sometimes is hard to make them, not knowing what fate holds in store for either makes it even harder. Perhaps if I knew what my fate would be, it would be easier to make the choice, but then again, if I already knew what was going to happen, where is the fun in life?

Peer pressure to smoke, to drink alcohol in excess. It is so easy to give in, these are simply choices in life that people are often pushed into. It’s an everyday occurrence that people will encounter throughout their lives. Making the right choice is important. giving into pressure or making the right choice for yourself, if you knew the fate of what drinking or smoking might have, would you choose it or not? We can never know what might truly happen, that’s why as I say, choices are often hard to make. Choices, of course in life aren’t simply all about affecting yourself, but some choices also affect others. Others who might need your help.

For example, having the choice between helping a person in distress or getting to a place on time, without having to sweat or stress oneself. At times I find myself having to make the choice between sacrificing comfort or ignoring what was happening before me, knowing that I can make a difference in the situation.

Once, when I was rushing to meet a friend, while crossing an overhead bridge, with the sun shining brightly, I’m trying to avoid perspiring too much and then I come across an old lady trying to lug up a lot of bags up the stairs. At that moment, I made a choice to help her, though I hesitated for a second because I was rather uncomfortable due to the heat, and at the back of my mind, my thoughts were that the old woman would be alright, and that I should get across quickly in a relaxed manner in order to avoid perspiring too much. At the end of it, I helped the thankful lady and she was off on her merry way after that. As for me, I could not avoid perspiring once I helped her carry her bag slowly up and across and then down the bridge, but it was the right thing to do, and despite the discomfort I experienced for the rest of the day, it was easier to handle because the reason for my discomfort was because I helped someone that day.

The biggest thing that affected me though, was my reluctance and hesitance. Yes I helped the lady, but I had to convince or make myself do it. Sometimes it’s like two people fighting for control. The next scenario which I found myself acting differently, where this time it was a young girl who was having trouble trying to pay for her bus fare as her card had run out of credit, and she did not have the coins to pay for the bus fare. I just sat in my seat on the bus watching her despair in distress along with many other passengers who did not bother either than just to look, in the end the bus driver let her sit without paying.

After some reflection, I realized that I was rather selective on two criterias when it means stepping up to help another based from that scenario. One, she was a young girl, two, I was hoping that someone else on the bus would help her.

I’m not trying to be prejudiced about age, but her being around sixteen to eighteen made me reluctant as a twenty year old guy to stand up and seem that I want to look like the “knight in shining armor” saving the damsel in distress, who expects to get something in return such as getting to know the girl, which is what others might think. That’s one thing I realize is wrong, my worry about how people would view my motives for helping made me reluctant.

My selfishness for the second reason was rather inexcusable, the thought was, “Let someone else help that person.” Which was wrong. If I had been the only person on the bus aside from her, I would have gotten up immediately to help her, but because I was at the back of the bus and there were so many other people on the bus, I thought someone else would have helped her. In the end, no one did, and maybe everyone had the same thought as me.

When I think about both reasons, it disgusts me, and makes me want to change my point of view of people and change the way I act and think. If a person needs help, I should not judge them by who or what they are, and not expect others to step up to help, and help the person myself, and not care what others might think.

How people reacted on the bus also gave me a first hand insight, on how Singaporeans in general are reluctant to help. When you look at cases where people are being beaten up or getting attacked, people do not help because they have the mentality that other people will come along and help instead of bothering to help. I know that danger brings in a whole new factor to the risk and reluctance of helping, but if the person can’t help physically, he or she should notify the authorities or call for help and try to persuade the person who is attacking to stop but either bluffing them that the authorities are here or shout at them to let them know that other people are watching them.

What has the world we know become? What are the values people around us have? Are they cowering citizens who think only of the word “I” Yes there are the few who are noble people willing to risk themselves or sacrifice their comfort in order to help another without a thought of anything in return, but how few are there? And will they always choose to help?

It scares me to think that if I were to be in trouble, a total stranger isn’t likely to help me if it was something serious as me being attacked or mugged. At the end of the day, the most reliable person to help me is myself. And I know, that not every acquaintance I have would step up to help me in times of need, that’s why I am close to only a handful of people who I know I can rely on if the situation was dire. Perhaps that’s why I keep my close circle of friends small.

As for me as a person, I must make a point to help those in need as much as I can. Of course, blindly jumping into danger is not the way to go, because not all good deeds go unpunished, if you understand the meaning. Help a person in smart way, whether it is to stop the person from being attacked, or calling help or simply stepping up to give a person in distress a helping hand or money if they need it. Making the choice to help, that’s the important first step.

Fragile the hearts of men,
Rigid the minds of people,
Rare the selflessness of few,
Quick to falter the multitude.

Righteous values often spoken,
Unpracticed by many who speak,
Hopeful of kindness from others,
Many a hand kept to themselves.

Of those who reach out to those,
When things get broken,
Making the choice to make a difference,
These are the precious few.
-Precious few