Angel eyes

The sound of your voice still echoes in my ears,
Of words that I will never hear again,
Lost are the times where I would bask in your shine,
All that’s left is a sweet picture in my mind.
-Lost whisper

“Take a moment to empty your mind and close your eyes and breathe deep the air around you, and feel it fill you inside, and then let it out slowly as you feel the stresses of life escape as you breathe out.” That’s what I tell myself at the end of a day as I sit by my computer to think and contemplate, and taking a break to look out the window and pausing to relax. I find that it really helps to clear my mind, and ease the day’s stress away. Sometimes when things get rushed, we tend to forget about taking breaks, and that could often lead to a burnout.

Remember the time when we used to look into each other’s eyes,
Resting our heads on each other’s chest to hear the heart’s beat.
-Remember

When you feel the emotions welling up inside, you feel the urge to let it out, as if it’s burning inside you. As your vision begins to blur, you feel it coming in waves as if hit by a tide from an ocean of emotions inside yourself. And when you finally give in to that emotion, and let it all fall, you feel the emotions that caused it so deeply. Tears are precious, it represents the emotions inside that are overflowing out.

As the tears begins to well up in your eyes,
It catches the light as it flows out in precious drops,
I reach out my hand to catch its falling grace,
Holding you in my embrace,
To calm the expression on your face.
-Comfort

Everyone cries, no matter how much they try to put a brave front, eventually one day they cry. Be it out of joy or sadness, we all cry. I remember the times I’ve cried, when no one was there to see my tears, as I rested against the post of my bed and tear. Thinking about the times I’ve held someone who was crying. To comfort them, to give them my shoulder and my embrace.

It means a lot to have someone to cry to. However, as I think about some of the times I held a person when they cried; it was because of me, indirectly or directly. All I can do, once I made a person cry is to give them my comfort and apologies and try to make it up to them. I know that, it’s sometimes because of my temper or impatience when they make me upset, and that I should try to be more patient. It is always harder when that person means so much to you, because their every action towards you has an even greater effect on you emotionally than anyone else. That’s why people who I have been close to have the greatest ability to make me cry, because when they upset me, betray me or shun me, they affect me greatly. A loss of their relation would affect me deeply, of which makes me ponder deeply about why it all fell apart.

I guess that’s why those who cry because of me cry because my actions towards them affect them greatly because I mean a lot to them. A tear is precious, especially a tear shed for someone who was close to you, or is close to you.

Some of the hardest hitting was with close friends. Friends whom I could not imagine not speaking to when I was close to them, those people made me shed tears because I felt the pain very deeply. Especially when they were an important or large part of my life, where I devoted much of my time and attention to, giving them higher priority over others, and thus the more the invested emotion, the more painful the ending of the relationship. That’s why I have only a few close friends, and I do realize I expect a lot out of those close to me, but that’s because they are dependable and have been there for years. It is formed from deep respect and commitment to the point where I would be willing to risk myself even for their sake. To protect them or aid them, to be there as one should be as a close friend as they would for me.

So far, no one new to me has been able to withstand such a relationship yet, they all seem to fall apart after a while, no matter the amount of promise it might show in the initial start. I’ve had quite a few close relationships that had such a strong emotional bond that was formed quickly over a short period of time. But many of these bonds eventually fell apart after less attention and time was put into it, or an argument brought a standstill to all the conversations. To me a close friend requires a special bond. Such a bond requires a lot of patience, commitment and understanding from both parties. And with the way I am, I guess its not easy being a close friend, its easy to be an acquaintance, but a close friend? Step right up and see if you’re up to the challenge. Few have been successful so far. So few.

As the cold clear water is poured into the stained glass,
I look at the deep etches around the tip,
The water begins to turn a deep dark red,
As my lips touch the glass.

Show me the way to drink the glass of life.

We have no choice about how to do it,
Not a single path without stains,
Without shedding tears in the rain,
Or crying out against the pain.

Help me step out of my shadow’s embrace.

The crowd stares across the room,
Finding myself unable to complete the sentence,
The shadows begin cover the light’s ambience.
It seems like there no way to escape its vengeance.

There is no where left to hide but to face it.
-Glass of life