Hurried times

In a world where everything’s standing still,
In these hurried times,
I hold her close to me,
I hear the slowing beat.

She’s not breathing back.

There isn’t anything I recognize,
In these hurried times,
I find myself letting it bother me,
I wonder if the world would crumble under me.

I try not to show it.

But it shows.
-In these hurried times.

Twenty years ten months and twenty seven days… The clock is ticking, and I see the seconds go by, before I realize it, many minutes have passed as I sit here in my room thinking. I reflect about how far I’ve come in my life, and see that I have experienced much but someone how just not enough.

Will I ever have enough experience in life? Time and time again I have talked about how important it is to learn and reflect about one’s life experiences. Two people might live the exact life but turn out different, because what that learnt and reflected from these experiences was different.

How I think, how I learnt, how I reflected made me the person I am today. All the choices I made in my life have lead me up to this point, all the emotions I have chosen to feel have molded me to this point, all that I have gained from these experiences. One could have an experience I become the epitome of evil, or could turn out the total opposite, it boils down to a matter of what one learns and gains and ultimately chooses. Everything boils down to choice, the choice of whether one chooses to become or feel that way. Some say that have no control over their emotions, but they still had a choice on what they could do, no matter the emotional state, one still has a choice. There is a choice to feel a certain emotion and how strongly one wants to feel it.

One could engulf oneself in sadness and cry on the spot if one let such an emotion fill themselves up. One can also feel extremely happy if one let oneself fill themselves up with such an emotion. So at the end of the day, it brings us back to the person’s choice, do you choose to be happy or to be sad? Given the same situation, different people have different emotions that come with it, because they made a choice. Some would argue with me that they do not choose to feel that emotion at all, but let’s take another look.

Emotions are somewhat like a habit. Imagine you’re a person who has no emotion to begin with; think a robot with intelligence but no prejudices. One day you encounter a situation where a plate falls down in front of you, and then a menu pops up to give you several options on how to feel.

Option no.1: Happy
Option no.2: Sad
Option no.3: Angry
Option no.4: Feel nothing

Now of all the choices listed, usually the last 3 would be the more likely choices. People would say its unlikely one can be happy about something breaking. Think of it in a different paradigm, it is possible to be happy in the sense that one chooses to think positively by clearing up the mess helping the person who might have broken it, by getting them a new one, this way everyone feels better about it.

Now, let’s go back to the original purpose of what I am talking about. Say you made your choice, and emotion has been felt, the actions that go with have been done. The second time it happens again, you end up with less options. Let’s continue by assuming you took the sad option.

New popup menu:

Option no.1: Sad
Option no.2: Angry
Option no. 3: Feel nothing

Suppose you decided to take Angry again, eventually the next time the plate breaks again, your choices narrow down to the first two options, and the following time there is only one option left, which is Angry. From then on, every time a plate breaks, you get angry. And when someone asks you why you feel such an emotion, it’s because you’ve got no control of how you feel.

We all have choices, and the emotions we feel automatically are usually a result of making a choice and it slowly becoming a habit to the point we feel like we don’t have control over our own emotions anymore. That’s why it’s so important to realize the way we feel, and there is still a chance to change it, because… We are not robots! We have choices that we must make actively, and that way we can control our emotions.

For me, I think looking at things positively is something that I want to be automatic, but of course, it’s not the easiest thing because people around you can tend to be negative, thus they can sort of influence your “option menu” Hence we must make the choice to think positive. When one thinks positively, and chooses to make the most of what one has or is given, one can be different from another. Its like a person who is given a knife to survive in the jungle for a week, he can choose to stay there and die because he thinks its hopeless, or he can use it to find food, make a shelter, protect himself, the choice is all up to him, because he is living, he has life. And I have said before, life is strength, it is the ability to affect our world, it is the ability to affect our world.

We are given choices in our lives, what we make of our choices is entirely up to us, but remember, it makes a difference in our lives and the lives of others around us. So choose carefully.

Do you hear it ringing?
The bell is calling out to us,
Choose to open your eyes,
I feel the itch bothering me.

Where do we go from here?

Choices without a thought,
Often leaving us distraught,
Remember this is our lives,
Do we play with it so carelessly?

It’s not so easy to break away.
-Choices