The thin line
Your voice whispering softly,
The words part of a concern,
Reaching over to my shoulder,
Sharing an emotion quite dear.
Listening to your voice as you whisper the words in my ear,
As we clasp each others hand tightly,
We close our eyes and fall to our knees,
Feeling the softness of the ground,
Breathing in the air of green.
Each blade of grass holds a tear, of the world’s cruelty.
In the cool of the morning air,
Where we see what we’ve become,
A moment of peace shared,
One’s thought laid bare.
A true comfort to know,
Knowing we’re not alone in this world.
-Where we stand
As I listen carefully to the crowd around me, a certain voice calls to my attention; I find the moment seems surreal, as I look into the person’s eyes. I find myself drawn into their stare, a moment where minds are shared. Have you ever had such a moment? Where circumstance seem so amazing, you never thought possible, the every surmounting question of the beauty of the mind. Appreciating it in its various forms.
When I see someone with drive, it makes me think so much about myself, and they are people whom I admire a lot, those who are focused, which makes me want to focus even harder, because there are people you want to succeed with, to achieve your dreams with, to make it happen. Life’s like a constant struggle with ourselves, to find what drives us, what makes us get up everyday and say, let’s do this, lets get the best possible result.
Every morning I wake up, thinking that its time to get that A again, and this time and even better victory than before, surpassing what I did before. When I am in it, when my mind focuses, it’s like a hurricane inside my mind, where everything just spins around at such a fast speed, and the little superman inside my head just picks out the necessary information and puts it out.
In that moment where everything is being thought, if you were look into my eyes, and could see what I see, you’d see the aspect of my drive, what makes me keep going, what makes me want what I want. And that allows me to accomplish what I came to do.
Looking at someone I got to know most recently, I found that she’s someone who has a drive far better than I had when I was her age, her mental focus is something that I truly am in awe of, she can smile even in hardship, and can handle almost anything thrown at her, not to mention, her strong desire to succeed, to accomplish in anything she does, in some aspects, I can see in her the reason why I came to RP, I am here to succeed. Whenever I see her smile, I can’t help but smile too, cause she’s the type of person who can brighten up the whole room with her smile, and I’d say if I got the chance to work with her in class, I would be extremely motivated, and even without the chance, the way she is already motivates me to do even better, I feel that in terms of conviction I have for my work, it just went from super high, to a magnitude beyond it.
I can remember the times in my life, I felt like quitting, when I just wanted to break down and cry, give up and just go do something else, but by not giving up, I always learnt something out of it. Whenever I gave up on something, I found that I never really learnt anything by giving up. At my age, I realize even more than I have no time to fail, or to even give up on anything, because what I’ve got in my life is a blessing, and that I have been fortunate for such circumstances.
Furthermore, all the times I had to push myself, to bring myself to the next level have made me a stronger person, all the experiences in my life aid me in my daily work, which I am truly grateful for. Like I’ve said so many times before, I have no regrets for what I have done in my life, for every bit of it makes me what I am today, from my mannerism, to my way of thinking. Without my experiences I would be a different person, and so many things would be different. It makes me glad that there is no whatifs when it comes to the people in my life, for example, “what if I continued Uni? What if I went elsewhere?” Everyone I’ve gotten to know through the course of my actions would be gone, and I would not want that, because these people make a difference in my life, and I learn so much from them.
I wonder what my life would be like if they weren’t in it? To me it would be a tremendous loss, without them, so much of what I appreciate, the precious moments shared, the thoughts conveyed and smiles exchanged, without these people so much would be lost.
Especially the people, who give me my drive, inspire me to become even better. And not to mention make school more fun, and a place I enjoy spending my time at, without them, it would not be as fun, school wouldn’t be school without these people. These people who are the driving force behind what I am, they are the ones I should thank, the ones I should appreciate, because without them, I’d have missed out on so much.
Falling into the moment where the rhythm breaks,
I find myself counting down to the sequence,
Reaching out to cover the void between,
I pull you closer to me.
Look into my eyes, as I look into yours.
The rush of thoughts behind our eyes,
Like a torrent of emotions,
Pulling you towards me,
I lean forward to connect.
A true of sense of reality,
Like a telepathy,
Of the moment shared.
-Sharing of a precious moment
Wednesday 30 April 2008
Saturday 26 April 2008
Reaching for the glass of life
Our choices are worth gold,
In order to rise, one must be bold,
Where our fears have no hold,
Of what has been told.
Stand up and make the decision.
Because situations always change,
So we must listen carefully,
Or else we may miss the symphony,
This is the music of our life.
Don’t break the tune.
-Tune of life.
When I look at what I’ve written in the past, I realize the pages stretch beyond something so vast, even my patience to read would be tested to read it all, which reflects on how much time I’ve actually spent writing these articles. My total blogs stretch to the number of four, one I’ve retired, two which are private, and this one, my public one. In total I’ve written about 71 posts including this one. Each of the articles on this one is at least a thousand words long or longer, and thinking back, I wrote nearly as long or longer for each article in my other blogs, starting with my very first entry on the 12th of May 2004, entitled Heart of dreaming. This is the very first poem that I posted on a blog.
A crack of a knuckle,
The sea breeze blowing against my face,
I look across the vast blue ocean,
I behold a vision,
A dream of dreams,
I would weave the tapestry of my life,
Creating my own destiny,
Despite living in a world that is unjust,
Where its hard for us to trust,
Where we are borne of lust,
We turned to rust,
And then to dust.
The poem holds no title, because back then I never titled the poems in the blogs, it was later on in my blogging that I added the titles. The very last poem I wrote on that blog was titled funeral.
As I heard the music of the funeral band,
I reached out for her hand,
only to stumble and be lost.
As the first drop came,
an endless pour,
caught in a world of endless doors,
I began to cry, and then a hand grasped mine.
I was out of my daze,
and I was met with many a gaze,
I heard the speech of praise,
from a priest of heavenly grace,
The hearts had been bled,
The tears were shed,
At the end of everything said,
I said my goodbye as I cried in my bed.
-funeral
It is perhaps the most fitting poem to write for a final blog post, it was a time when I there were many changes in my life, but I had written that poem long before I posted it, it is dedicated to an old friend of mine who died when he was young, at the age of 15, someone who had so much going for him. I salute to the lost. I had stopped writing articles for more than a half a year after that blog till I started a new blog to continue my writings, eventually I started this blog which leads up till this latest post.
It has been four years since I began blogging, looking back at my old posts, I can see the evolution of my writing styles. For these 71 posts including this one, each had a poem or more, which made me wonder how I wrote all those poems, to me I find it quite a large number, of which I realize I can no longer remember all of them by heart due to number I have written. It makes me ask the question whether these poems are really that special, if I have written so many.
As I think harder about this issue, I reflect on how I felt when I wrote this poems, and for most I could frankly say I wrote them from pure inspiration using my emotions and reflections of the past, only a few were a little forced, during the times I was in a rut, sometimes its just so hard to write a poem when there is no inspiration.
And for the times when I could write often, it was because I had a muse, which provided so much inspiration, it was often breath taking, causing my mind to dance in words in an ocean of emotions that made me feel incredible, it was at those moments where I enjoyed writing most. I look forward to finding a new muse, to write in such a manner again. I’d say one of the greatest joys in my life is working with a muse, who influences my poetry greatly, and to a certain extent the novels I write. I don’t write novels as much as I used to, but I do intend to find the time to continue writing again.
Right now, I am more focused on achieving my dream which is so real and within in my grasp, like the glass of life that is full of richness. The past week has been especially good in which I achieved what I wanted, which was having the perfect performance for the week. I’d have to attribute part of the reason why I had even more focus during the week was because of the day before.
I had walked from my house to botanic gardens to sit for an hour by the pond where a pair of black swans were, to read a new book I bought, entitled “The monk who sold his Ferrari” Although I only read for an hour and have yet to finish the book, I found it meaningful and insightful which gave me a lot of insight and determination. I’d elaborate more, but perhaps until I’ve finished reading it, I shall not talk more about it. I look forward to going down to pond again and reading tomorrow. An hour a week, makes a big difference to me, away from my home, away from everything, no responsibility, just a half an hour walk there, an hour of reading by a pond drinking light coke and just taking in the beautiful scenery, and of course walking back. I’d say it is something I’d look forward to doing every week, just me, a book and drink by the pond, alone to read and reflect, and my feet and sandals to take me there and back.
It’s in these activities, where I contemplate the most, which I can refocus my energy, after a week of having to work with people regularly, coming up with new ideas, researching and presenting daily, just two hours of personal time where no one could disturb me, where I was free from stress, made a difference to my week. Perhaps I’d recommend it to others, but not everyone would find it fun walking in the afternoon sun, let alone reading. One thing I know, it is for me, and it makes a difference to me.
I wonder if I could share these moments with someone, and whether it would be different. Perhaps a whole different experience, and if it was to be shared, it should be no more than one person, I’m the type who only likes the company of one person and no more, where I can give my full attention and focus to that person, but even then, I’d say it would spoil the whole significance of taking that time aside, because that time aside has to have absolutely no stress whatsoever, because when I’m totally alone, no one to interact with, no one else to consider but myself for that point of time. I’d say it’s something that I don’t get often enough. A true reprieve. The time to really appreciate the glass of life I’m holding.
The thoughts tear past the skin,
From tongue to the ears,
Where it breaks through walls,
Which causes the tears to fall.
Remember, remember the words of surrender.
Of the exchange,
The reason,
And what was fought.
Remember, remember what it brought.
-The rhyme of reason.
Our choices are worth gold,
In order to rise, one must be bold,
Where our fears have no hold,
Of what has been told.
Stand up and make the decision.
Because situations always change,
So we must listen carefully,
Or else we may miss the symphony,
This is the music of our life.
Don’t break the tune.
-Tune of life.
When I look at what I’ve written in the past, I realize the pages stretch beyond something so vast, even my patience to read would be tested to read it all, which reflects on how much time I’ve actually spent writing these articles. My total blogs stretch to the number of four, one I’ve retired, two which are private, and this one, my public one. In total I’ve written about 71 posts including this one. Each of the articles on this one is at least a thousand words long or longer, and thinking back, I wrote nearly as long or longer for each article in my other blogs, starting with my very first entry on the 12th of May 2004, entitled Heart of dreaming. This is the very first poem that I posted on a blog.
A crack of a knuckle,
The sea breeze blowing against my face,
I look across the vast blue ocean,
I behold a vision,
A dream of dreams,
I would weave the tapestry of my life,
Creating my own destiny,
Despite living in a world that is unjust,
Where its hard for us to trust,
Where we are borne of lust,
We turned to rust,
And then to dust.
The poem holds no title, because back then I never titled the poems in the blogs, it was later on in my blogging that I added the titles. The very last poem I wrote on that blog was titled funeral.
As I heard the music of the funeral band,
I reached out for her hand,
only to stumble and be lost.
As the first drop came,
an endless pour,
caught in a world of endless doors,
I began to cry, and then a hand grasped mine.
I was out of my daze,
and I was met with many a gaze,
I heard the speech of praise,
from a priest of heavenly grace,
The hearts had been bled,
The tears were shed,
At the end of everything said,
I said my goodbye as I cried in my bed.
-funeral
It is perhaps the most fitting poem to write for a final blog post, it was a time when I there were many changes in my life, but I had written that poem long before I posted it, it is dedicated to an old friend of mine who died when he was young, at the age of 15, someone who had so much going for him. I salute to the lost. I had stopped writing articles for more than a half a year after that blog till I started a new blog to continue my writings, eventually I started this blog which leads up till this latest post.
It has been four years since I began blogging, looking back at my old posts, I can see the evolution of my writing styles. For these 71 posts including this one, each had a poem or more, which made me wonder how I wrote all those poems, to me I find it quite a large number, of which I realize I can no longer remember all of them by heart due to number I have written. It makes me ask the question whether these poems are really that special, if I have written so many.
As I think harder about this issue, I reflect on how I felt when I wrote this poems, and for most I could frankly say I wrote them from pure inspiration using my emotions and reflections of the past, only a few were a little forced, during the times I was in a rut, sometimes its just so hard to write a poem when there is no inspiration.
And for the times when I could write often, it was because I had a muse, which provided so much inspiration, it was often breath taking, causing my mind to dance in words in an ocean of emotions that made me feel incredible, it was at those moments where I enjoyed writing most. I look forward to finding a new muse, to write in such a manner again. I’d say one of the greatest joys in my life is working with a muse, who influences my poetry greatly, and to a certain extent the novels I write. I don’t write novels as much as I used to, but I do intend to find the time to continue writing again.
Right now, I am more focused on achieving my dream which is so real and within in my grasp, like the glass of life that is full of richness. The past week has been especially good in which I achieved what I wanted, which was having the perfect performance for the week. I’d have to attribute part of the reason why I had even more focus during the week was because of the day before.
I had walked from my house to botanic gardens to sit for an hour by the pond where a pair of black swans were, to read a new book I bought, entitled “The monk who sold his Ferrari” Although I only read for an hour and have yet to finish the book, I found it meaningful and insightful which gave me a lot of insight and determination. I’d elaborate more, but perhaps until I’ve finished reading it, I shall not talk more about it. I look forward to going down to pond again and reading tomorrow. An hour a week, makes a big difference to me, away from my home, away from everything, no responsibility, just a half an hour walk there, an hour of reading by a pond drinking light coke and just taking in the beautiful scenery, and of course walking back. I’d say it is something I’d look forward to doing every week, just me, a book and drink by the pond, alone to read and reflect, and my feet and sandals to take me there and back.
It’s in these activities, where I contemplate the most, which I can refocus my energy, after a week of having to work with people regularly, coming up with new ideas, researching and presenting daily, just two hours of personal time where no one could disturb me, where I was free from stress, made a difference to my week. Perhaps I’d recommend it to others, but not everyone would find it fun walking in the afternoon sun, let alone reading. One thing I know, it is for me, and it makes a difference to me.
I wonder if I could share these moments with someone, and whether it would be different. Perhaps a whole different experience, and if it was to be shared, it should be no more than one person, I’m the type who only likes the company of one person and no more, where I can give my full attention and focus to that person, but even then, I’d say it would spoil the whole significance of taking that time aside, because that time aside has to have absolutely no stress whatsoever, because when I’m totally alone, no one to interact with, no one else to consider but myself for that point of time. I’d say it’s something that I don’t get often enough. A true reprieve. The time to really appreciate the glass of life I’m holding.
The thoughts tear past the skin,
From tongue to the ears,
Where it breaks through walls,
Which causes the tears to fall.
Remember, remember the words of surrender.
Of the exchange,
The reason,
And what was fought.
Remember, remember what it brought.
-The rhyme of reason.
Saturday 19 April 2008
Where we become
Hold your breath and grip on tight,
As we rush pass the fences of light,
The dream we’re living is so bright.
We’re asking for more.
Letting ourselves become so bold,
All those before us will fold,
Our actions are worth more than gold.
Break yourself from the line.
It’s time to open the gate,
Let us reach out towards the final date,
And Jump forward to meet our fate.
-Rising tide
Into a new beginning, where the world seems so different, so new, so invigorating. I find myself taking in the sights and sounds that overwhelm my senses. The energy of youth is amazing, it makes me feel like I’ve just been reborn. I find myself reaching out for so much, looking forward to so much more.
School, has been good, its constantly new problems given to solve followed by group work and presentations. I never really found anything to really challenge and improve myself on a regular basis till now. Till this foundation which tests me for what I am.
Everyday has been a test of one’s ability to think and organize one’s thoughts, and at the same time present oneself in a manner which exudes composure and confidence, in order to captivate the audience in the most effective manner. The need to lead and motivate others comes into play more than ever, the need to become an effective and powerful leader. So much of what I’ve learnt throughout my life comes into play, from my time on stage, to my time debating with some of the smartest people I’ve met in my life to all the books I’ve ever read, the shows I’ve watched, games I’ve played. The actions, reaction and decisions made are a culmination of the very presentations I do everyday.
My interactions with my group members, constantly guiding them to pull out their every potential, it brings out both the friend and teacher in me, something I rarely had before, most of which were experiences I had from guidance in drama and in Thailand where I taught English. The constant change of variables, having to work with new problems everyday, and different team mates each day tested my ability to analyze each member and problem to best formulate solutions to it all, from which I gained more experience on handling and working with people, to improving my thinking and organizing skills on a daily basis.
I find that the most rewarding moments of the day are when the presentation comes, and you see your members give their all and accomplish they never thought they could and my own part where I captivate my audience and teach for that short period, conveying what I understood and learnt, always honing my presentation skills to become even better.
Looking at everyone around me, I feel the want to bring everyone up higher, to rise with me, like a rising tide that would become unstoppable, perhaps even to the point where the best students come from my class, to become the best, to become leaders.
This is what I wrote earlier, it was meant to be a blog post, but I never really posted it, this is part of it:
The voices rise in a deafening sound,
Sensing the despair all around,
I bring my knees to the ground,
Hoping that at the last moment faith can be found.
It’s too late to find it now.
The words that leave my lips are silent,
The sincerity filling every thought,
I take a deep breath in,
As a sense of calmness fills my mind.
- A moment’s thought.
Where for that moment I’d dream, and see a face that I never paid much thought to, appearing in it, and somehow despite the lack of significance in my life, that person seemed to have a great impact in that dream. I wake up confused and wonder why such a thing occurred. Was it a reflection of the past I might have overlooked?
Looking at others, I often see a hint of my past in them, not in that there were involved in my past, but part of their lives were similar to mine, which allowed me to empathize more with them. Looking into their eyes, I can almost feel a connection, but then again, not everyone would allow me to see all of it. One would have to get to know the person better before such a strong connection could occur.
For the first week, I suffered from flu and fever, during each day of school, but I managed to give it my all, because I was motivated to succeed even it meant suffering. I was forcing myself into full focus during every presentation itself, in order to present in the best form. For myself, I did suffer from this forced state of control where I showed no sign of illness for a short period of time and for that moment, felt normal. I lost quite a bit of weight in that one week. My jeans went from a just nice fit on Monday, and then being loose by Friday.
I realize it was reckless for me to do such a thing, but it also tested my motivation and focus at the same time, proving my desire and dedication to succeed. This is what I told myself, “I am not here to fool around; I am here for total victory.” Total victory is doing my very best to achieve the best possible score. This would mean aiming for a perfect GPA, or something close to that. I have a goal, a dream, a desire, a commitment.
Into the second week, my members have become even better, having more confidence and better focus which allowed them to produce even better work than before, which reflects the very energy of youth which can be honed to improve and learn. I envision being able to achieve my goals with them; for without them, I could never reach my goal, they are the ones who are to be credited, and I am also responsible for helping achieve that goal too. Together, we’d all climb the ladder and reach for the heavens.
A smile and a laugh for the day,
A moments past of us standing,
Waiting for each other’s grin,
Basking in the rays of the sun.
Is there something to confess?
We’re jumping across the fence,
Our thoughts hindered by no cage,
But we’re not lost at all,
We’re all on the same page.
Where are we now?
Our dreams are our energy,
Where hopes hold sway,
And our actions come into play,
Come let’s go together.
Tomorrow’s a brand new day.
-Where we become.
Hold your breath and grip on tight,
As we rush pass the fences of light,
The dream we’re living is so bright.
We’re asking for more.
Letting ourselves become so bold,
All those before us will fold,
Our actions are worth more than gold.
Break yourself from the line.
It’s time to open the gate,
Let us reach out towards the final date,
And Jump forward to meet our fate.
-Rising tide
Into a new beginning, where the world seems so different, so new, so invigorating. I find myself taking in the sights and sounds that overwhelm my senses. The energy of youth is amazing, it makes me feel like I’ve just been reborn. I find myself reaching out for so much, looking forward to so much more.
School, has been good, its constantly new problems given to solve followed by group work and presentations. I never really found anything to really challenge and improve myself on a regular basis till now. Till this foundation which tests me for what I am.
Everyday has been a test of one’s ability to think and organize one’s thoughts, and at the same time present oneself in a manner which exudes composure and confidence, in order to captivate the audience in the most effective manner. The need to lead and motivate others comes into play more than ever, the need to become an effective and powerful leader. So much of what I’ve learnt throughout my life comes into play, from my time on stage, to my time debating with some of the smartest people I’ve met in my life to all the books I’ve ever read, the shows I’ve watched, games I’ve played. The actions, reaction and decisions made are a culmination of the very presentations I do everyday.
My interactions with my group members, constantly guiding them to pull out their every potential, it brings out both the friend and teacher in me, something I rarely had before, most of which were experiences I had from guidance in drama and in Thailand where I taught English. The constant change of variables, having to work with new problems everyday, and different team mates each day tested my ability to analyze each member and problem to best formulate solutions to it all, from which I gained more experience on handling and working with people, to improving my thinking and organizing skills on a daily basis.
I find that the most rewarding moments of the day are when the presentation comes, and you see your members give their all and accomplish they never thought they could and my own part where I captivate my audience and teach for that short period, conveying what I understood and learnt, always honing my presentation skills to become even better.
Looking at everyone around me, I feel the want to bring everyone up higher, to rise with me, like a rising tide that would become unstoppable, perhaps even to the point where the best students come from my class, to become the best, to become leaders.
This is what I wrote earlier, it was meant to be a blog post, but I never really posted it, this is part of it:
The voices rise in a deafening sound,
Sensing the despair all around,
I bring my knees to the ground,
Hoping that at the last moment faith can be found.
It’s too late to find it now.
The words that leave my lips are silent,
The sincerity filling every thought,
I take a deep breath in,
As a sense of calmness fills my mind.
- A moment’s thought.
Where for that moment I’d dream, and see a face that I never paid much thought to, appearing in it, and somehow despite the lack of significance in my life, that person seemed to have a great impact in that dream. I wake up confused and wonder why such a thing occurred. Was it a reflection of the past I might have overlooked?
Looking at others, I often see a hint of my past in them, not in that there were involved in my past, but part of their lives were similar to mine, which allowed me to empathize more with them. Looking into their eyes, I can almost feel a connection, but then again, not everyone would allow me to see all of it. One would have to get to know the person better before such a strong connection could occur.
For the first week, I suffered from flu and fever, during each day of school, but I managed to give it my all, because I was motivated to succeed even it meant suffering. I was forcing myself into full focus during every presentation itself, in order to present in the best form. For myself, I did suffer from this forced state of control where I showed no sign of illness for a short period of time and for that moment, felt normal. I lost quite a bit of weight in that one week. My jeans went from a just nice fit on Monday, and then being loose by Friday.
I realize it was reckless for me to do such a thing, but it also tested my motivation and focus at the same time, proving my desire and dedication to succeed. This is what I told myself, “I am not here to fool around; I am here for total victory.” Total victory is doing my very best to achieve the best possible score. This would mean aiming for a perfect GPA, or something close to that. I have a goal, a dream, a desire, a commitment.
Into the second week, my members have become even better, having more confidence and better focus which allowed them to produce even better work than before, which reflects the very energy of youth which can be honed to improve and learn. I envision being able to achieve my goals with them; for without them, I could never reach my goal, they are the ones who are to be credited, and I am also responsible for helping achieve that goal too. Together, we’d all climb the ladder and reach for the heavens.
A smile and a laugh for the day,
A moments past of us standing,
Waiting for each other’s grin,
Basking in the rays of the sun.
Is there something to confess?
We’re jumping across the fence,
Our thoughts hindered by no cage,
But we’re not lost at all,
We’re all on the same page.
Where are we now?
Our dreams are our energy,
Where hopes hold sway,
And our actions come into play,
Come let’s go together.
Tomorrow’s a brand new day.
-Where we become.
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